Executive Coach & Mentor, Leadership and Strategy Facilitation, Transformation, Wellness 

Still faking it till you make it?

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I’ve been reflecting on how complex life and business has become, and how many of us are still navigating the tension of prioritising safety over authenticity in both leadership and life.

Recently, I shared a LinkedIn post about a quote I saw on a poster very early in my career:

“Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.”

I was reflecting on the years in my early career, alongside pretty much everyone else, that I adopted this as my mantra, perfecting the art of looking capable even when I had no idea what was going on. This approach was widely adopted by many. ‘Fake it till you make it’ was accepted common practice, as it unfortunately still is today.

At some stage in my career, I got braver and started asking the dumb questions, and saying the thing that needed to be said. Thank goodness or my career might have plateaued.

As I embody my middle years, I now see that quote for what it is: a metaphorical straitjacket that slowed my learning and prevented me showing up as my authentic self.

We all know the cost to an organisation when a large proportion of the workforce ‘fakes it’ – suppressing themselves and holding back from asking or saying what needs to be said. The impacts on risk culture, collaboration, empowerment, learning, and constructive candour are well documented.

But what is the cost to ourselves when we over-index on safety and ‘contain ourselves’, for fear of looking stupid or being judged? So many opportunities get missed, and so much of our true essence gets suppressed. This puts our nervous system under pressure and limits our ability to embrace our potential and live our best life.

What I have learned over my career is that most people never feel like they’ve ‘made it’. I’ve learned that most people, even the highest of achievers, still have doubt and fear and hold themselves back. Nelson Mandela once said “..courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

It feels to me that waiting till we’ve ‘made it’ before we take some risks and show up as our authentic self is a total waste of a life. When I look back from my death bed, I will know I ‘made it’ if I lived full out as the truest, bravest, most authentic expression of myself.  It’s not always easy to do but we owe it to ourselves.  I also believe that we owe it to those around us who might view us as a role model and follow our lead.

Some questions to consider:

What opportunities for greater self expression (that might involve some personal risk) might you be holding back from?

What parts of yourself might you be suppressing out of safety or fear?

What might be the consequences of this suppression to your life and your leadership?

If I can support you to elevate yourself or your team to the next level of effectiveness and authenticity, please get in touch.

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